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All is never lost


by Lou Lotz

edited by Bob Terwilliger, fall 2023

I joined the ranks of the retired in 2016. I still preach frequently, but sermonizing was always the part of ministry that I enjoyed the most, and I’m thankful that I still get to do it. Preaching regularly keeps my nose in the Bible, keeps me thinking, reading, writing. Other duties I was formerly expected to perform—administration, staff supervision, fundraising, conducting performance reviews, steering building campaigns—are no longer on my To Do list. I do not miss them.

For some folks, retirement is a time to travel, see the world. Me, I’ve already seen about as much of the world as I wish to see—Africa, the Philippines, Italy, Russia, Israel. Friends invited me to join them on a weekend visit to New York City. I thought: And do what? Take the Gideon’s Bible out of the drawer in my hotel room and look out the window and circle the Ten Commandments as you see them being broken? I declined. The world I want to see at this stage of my life is my vineyard, my apple and peach orchard, my bee hives, and my garden. I built raised beds in my garden, which make it easier to weed and water the veggies, and now the deer don’t have to bend over so far to eat. Mary Jean and I go fishing in the summer and snowshoeing in the winter. I have taken up fly fishing, which really is the most fun you can have standing up. I dote on my grandchildren, chop tons of firewood, and write for various publications. Life is good, and I am a happy man.

Granted, there have been losses. Old friends and colleagues pass away. Health begins to erode. The most painful loss has been watching my denominational family come undone. I care deeply about the Reformed Church. I am RCA born, RCA bred, and when I die, I’ll be RCA dead. It hurts to watch the church come apart.

Hundreds of congregations have left the RCA, accounting for more than 40 percent of our total membership. The financial impact has been staggering. Almost 2 million dollars have already been cut from the denomination’s annual operating budget, and more cuts are expected. General secretary Eddy Alemán implores us to focus on the people and churches that remain, not on those who have left. Amen to that. But still, it is impossible to ignore the strife and acrimony that this grand old church has had to endure.

The RCA has been debating issues of human sexuality since the 1970s, and I think we are exhausted. I know I am. In divorce proceedings, warring couples will sometimes cite “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for their breakup.

I think that is where the Reformed Church finds itself in this seemingly never-ending debate about human sexuality—our differences are irreconcilable. As painful as it is to watch clergy and congregations leave the RCA family, maybe it is for the best. Hopefully, people on both sides of the human sexuality debate will find, on their own, the peace that eluded them when they were together. This separation hurts terribly, and it is ruinous to the RCA. But life goes on, and all is not lost. All is never lost.

When I first retired, I made a list of things I wanted to do, things that seemed important to me. Spend more time fishing. Read books that have nothing to do with the sermon I am working on. Do not begin sentences with, “When I was in the pastorate…” Overtip waitresses. Relax and lighten up and laugh at yourself now and then, as surely God must. Have a little faith in the providence of God, and remember that what can’t happen won’t, and what must happen will. Plant more trees. Savor your grandchildren. On the whole, I think I’ve done rather well with the items on my list.

For some folks, retirement is a time of decline and decay. But that has not been my experience. Retirement feels to me like a time of triumph, like the last miles of a marathon, where the runner feels exultant and deeply satisfied. The poet William Dean Howells wrote that “…death is at the bottom of everyone’s cup.” True. But there is still some wine in mine.

And now it is time to go and fire up the grill (Propane Elaine), cook a couple of steaks, uncork the 2019 Cabernet Franc I’ve been saving, and have dinner on the deck with the wonderful woman I somehow talked into marrying me all those years ago. Life is good, and I am a happy man.

Lou received his BA from Hope College, an MDiv from Western Theological Seminary, a ThM from Union Seminary, and a DMin from Union Seminary. He has served First Reformed in Rochester, New York; Morningside in Sioux City, Iowa; Central Reformed in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and as president of General Synod (1991). He and Mary Jean live in Hudsonville, Michigan. lltz@allcom.net